Well it's been a hectic couple of months. I'm finally back home, after 3 weeks of working away for my busiest month of the year. Yesterday was my first day off in well over a month, and it was heaven to just sleep the day away!
Shortly before I left, we had made the difficult decision to delay our next attempt. We had been seriously planning to head to India again in May, as soon as I finished my big Apr 30 deadline. In hindsight, as I schlump around the house in a state of near-coma, I realize that it was a smart move on our part. As hard as it was to make that decision, with my poor AMH results and the fact that I'm always a mess after April - not to mention that my busy season isn't over yet, there are 2 months left before I can really relax - I think heading to India amidst all that exhaustion and stress would have been totally setting us up to fail. Also, a number of things have cropped up with my husband's work in April, which means he's also busier than ever right now. I guess May just wasn't meant to be.
So... it's back to the holding pattern I guess. We're still seriously considering the egg donor route - time isn't my friend and the stats for my eggs are likely laughable. (or cry-able... is that a word??) It's a tough decision, we're basically wrestling with dreams vs. reality and that whole thing isn't much fun. However, whichever route we take will be the right one for us and we've now given ourselves a bit of a window to think it through really thoroughly, which I also think is the best thing.
This has really been a test of patience and letting go of the control-freak thing - us Type-A's do so well with that - and we've only really just begun the journey. It sure brings in to sharp focus what others who have been on this road for a while have endured. Hats off to you all! This is not a journey for the wussies. I'm looking forward to finally being able to squeak in a few minutes here and there to get caught up on where everyone is at... this whole work business really cramps the blog-addiction thing :)
Good for you, hard decisions to make but taking the pressure off can only be good. Hope you are both well in the midst of it all.
ReplyDeleteWelcome Back!!Get some well deserved rest,relax and enjoy a little time for yourself!!When you are ready,you will know its time to start the journey again.You are right,this journey is not for the faintest of hearts.We are all tough cookies for having to go through all this,but keep smiling,it will be all worth it at the end!!
ReplyDeleteDreams vs reality really sux!! I know exactly where you are coming from..we are about to attempt #3 ourselves...it's just such a major decision and no one can tell you what to do...it's a choice that has to come from within...the only problem is when you have to deal with the financial aspects of it and finances play a huge role. Money often has the biggest effect on your decision...no matter what you decide..the most important thing is that you will be one step closer to having your baby....and in the end, does it really matter how your baby gets here, as long as he or she does?
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