So I've been thinking about this whole process. The worry, the stress, the emotional, financial and time commitments. How easy it is to get caught up in the details, thinking about pills, needles, the bank account and what in god's name can we do to make this WORK. Taking folic acid, watching the calendar, trying in vain to tell oneself that really ONE beer won't hurt and then feeling guilty (fetal alcohol follicles). Finally making it to India and trying not to hate a spouse who adapts to the chaos within seconds of landing, while I wander around Delhi like a bloated, hormonal cow on crack, pondering the merits of pushing that spouse into the traffic he loves so much...
What was I saying? Oh yes, getting caught up in the details. Especially when it all culminates in staring blankly at 5 am at the dreaded BFN email and asking yourself why in the name of all that's holy did I ever think this might work?
Ah, here it is. Why are we doing this?
The fact of the matter is, I love my husband very much. He is my soulmate, my partner and my best friend. And we would dearly love to build a family together.
So in that spirit I thought I'd post a little celebration of us, mostly to have something visual to refer back to during tough, trying or I-want-to-smack-you-with-a-stick moments.
So here we go, a little visual documentary of some places and times in our journey together (so far)...
What is probably the first picture of us together, shortly after we met
Hiking in Farwell Canyon
Our first trip to San Miguel de Allende (central Mexico)
Wedding day, south of Playa del Carmen, Mexico
Las Vegas
Horseback trip into the south Chilcotin Mtns
2nd trip to San Miguel
Hiking on Vancouver Island
Hawaii
Taj Mahal 2012, 4th anniversary :)
What a great (and hilarious) post and beautiful photographs, thank you for sharing. I cycled late last year at SCI and I could not stop crying, it was infuriating, everything I looked at bought tears to my eyes. Those weird ivf drugs make monster moments but then, hopefully miracles! Best wishes to you both.
ReplyDeletelovely couple. may God bless you with the bubs you so much desire. Amen.
ReplyDeleteI love the historical pics! So nice to see you two!! What a beautiful couple!! Just know, it is not always an easy road for some of us, and when you do finally have success, somehow it just makes sense. It is hard to explain, but when you get there, you will understand. Just don't give up hope!
ReplyDeleteWow,what great pictures!!You can see the special bond that you two have and the memories that you have created in your journey so far in life.Great way to celebrate and thank you for sharing.Its so good that you have each other to lean on in good and tough times.I know through many years of BFN's its heartbreaking and it never gets easier.Its a long road of ups and downs in the infertility world but you will get there with success and faith in each other...hugs...
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches for you...your story is so familiar...I too will be fourty in July...i had a negative cycle in june (3 embryos), miscarriage at 10 weeks from second cycle (again only 3 embryos)in october and am trying to figure out how and when we can go back for another try...email me...i have been on dhea....struggled with a lot of the same issues you are dealing with now...my email is rene.cathey@yahoo.com...would love to hear from you...we've got lots to talk about!!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful pics! You have each other and it will get you through this as hard as it is now. Stay strong together you will prevail. Sending prayers your way.
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